DAY 14

DO YOU SELF-SABOTAGE?

Self-sabotage is one of the greatest limiting factors to how successful you can be in your weight loss journey! And the crazy thing is, most people have absolutely no clue that they self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage is one of the most destructive patterns I've seen in myself as well as other women I coach. 

While so many people define self-sabotage as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and over-eating, there are a bunch of other ways we self-sabotage. Some are socially recognizable and judged according to a social scale, and others aren’t as easily understood.

Ways of self-sabotage 

Procrastination – It is quite common for so many people to procrastinate when it comes to hard or difficult decisions. The thinking behind it usually comes down to two ways of thinking. First, if I don’t make a decision, maybe the whole problem/situation/scary opportunity will just go away. Obviously this is a false belief. Instead, what tends to happen is more problems stack up on top of the one we’re currently avoiding, and make it even tougher to handle. Second, We believe that it might just work itself out on its own. While there is a small chance that will happen, it’s definitely not the likely one.

Believing the lies – Discovering the lies you believe, that have been told by family, friends, and lies you tell yourself. “I'm not good enough!” I’ll never succeed!” “You are a failure!” You don’t deserve…!” “You’re never right!” “You’re not worthy!” “It’s all your fault!” These are just a few lies that we believe. Unfortunately, so many horrible decisions can absolutely be traced back to the lies that we’ve been told, and told ourselves, that we chose to believe.

Blame shifting – Many times instead of taking responsibility for our own actions, we try shift the blame to other people or situations. For example, it’s not uncommon for people who are terrible at relationships, (Due to a lack of quality leading in relationships) to not take responsibility themselves no matter how much information shows them how they are struggling. Instead, they find every possible reason, no matter how untrue, to blame someone else for the reason they are struggling. This only results in an unrealistic view of one’s self, which hurts any attempt at personal growth.

Lack of HEALTHY boundaries – Notice I didn’t just say boundaries. Many people have boundaries, but since they aren’t healthy, they tend to be destructive. Boundaries are by far one of the biggest issues we have in our lives, and again, it’s from a lack of proper leading in this area. When you don’t have healthy boundaries, you allow people to manipulate you, take advantage of you, and abuse you.

Feelings of not being “Good enough” – Lack of self-worth and self-esteem destroy us when we don’t have a strong sense that we ARE good enough. This belief system is usually passed on to us by parents who struggled with the same feelings, or by controlling and abusive parents. There is one thing you must must MUST know and that is you are good enough for God!!! You should NEVER try to get your self-worth or self-esteem from ANY person on this planet! Find it in the Father who knit you together. God loves you EXACTLY where you are, He just doesn’t want to keep you there. He has a much greater plan for your life!

Taking care of you last – One of the fastest ways for us to be destructive is to think that we have to put everyone else first. If you aren’t taking care of you first, then you will certainly become no good to anyone else. If you’re not finding ways to replenish you, then you’re going to wear yourself down. If you’re not finding ways to make yourself strong, then you’re going to cave in weak moments. Putting you last will only lead to greater weakness and bad decision-making.

Isolation –  There is no greater destroyer to one’s self than to isolate with one’s own thoughts! If you have a good portion of your life filled with bad influence, lack of healthy boundaries, low self-esteem, then I can promise you that being alone with your own thoughts, which happen to be greatly effected by all of that crap, is a sure fire way to cause some serious damage to you! In isolation is where some of your worst decisions are made and beliefs are created. We weren’t made for isolation, we were created to commune. First with God, then with others. That order done continuously keeps us safe-er from self-sabotage in our own thoughts.

So how do I fix my self sabotaging ways??

This video is about self-sabotage in the business world but you can easily apply it to your weight loss journey by replacing the words with what you normally find yourself thinking. 

"I'm too busy to lose weight" 

"Nothing has ever worked in the past"

"It's just in my genes to be overweight" 

"I won't have a social life" 

"I'm afraid I'll succeed and I don't want my friends to feel bad" 

"I'm worried I'll look good and make my husband feel insecure" 

The extra serving of food at dinner because you've had a long day. 

The Cupcakes at work. 

The mindless eating in front of the TV. 

Too much wine on the weekends. 

The negative, self defeating thoughts. 

Always putting yourself last. 

None of these things serve you or help you grow into a better person. Let them go. 

Realizing Patterns... 

Do you feel like you can now switch your thinking so you don't self sabotage? 

DAY 14 COMPLETE!